


Something to Hold Onto

by MaryBerry



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Evan Hansen, F/M, Gay Connor Murphy, Gen, Grief, Healing, M/M, Mourning, Not Jared friendly, Pining, Suicidal Ideation, Suicidal Thoughts, Tree Bros, character death in beginning, not Larry Murphy friendly, talks about suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25478893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryBerry/pseuds/MaryBerry
Summary: Connor lives. Zoe dies. Evan thought getting courage for once was supposed to be a good thing. What do you call the girl who agreed to go out with you then died the next day?
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy, Evan Hansen/Zoe Murphy
Comments: 7
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Did I just upload a chapter of a completely different Tree Bros fanfic and ignore it to write this chapter that’s 8x as long? Yes. Did I steal this title from a song because I can’t come up with an actual title to my fics to save my life? Also yes. It’s a song by “The Home Team” btw. But if you’re gonna look them up I recommend starting with their song “Fashion Forward” instead. It’s a bop if you like pop punk. 
> 
> Anyway thanks for checking out this fic! This isn’t beta read so if anyone wants to suggest edits I appreciate it!

You all know how it starts.  


A broken arm. A sharpie. An awkward morning send off. Some insults from Jared. A few failed hellos-  


“You’re the fucking freak!”  


A shove.  


And this might be the first senior year exclusive experience. Evan’s mom told him this year would be different. He doesn’t think this is what she had in mind.  


Evan hasn’t even noticed he’s still on the ground when he hears a voice he’d recognize anywhere, “I’m sorry about my brother! I saw him push you, he’s a psychopath”  


He doesn’t allow himself to try to interpret what she’s saying, his mind zoning in on the fact that _Zoe’s actually talking to me oh my God you have to say something back don’t be an idiot and-_  


“Hey!” He settles on, not realizing until too late that he’s cutting her off.  


Luckily she looks amused rather than annoyed, “what’s your name?”  


“Ah, guh, Evan! It’s Evan. Sorry, I’m sorry.”  


“Why are you sorry?”  


“It’s just I said my name twice and it’s really annoying when people do that.”  


“I’m Zoe,” she says it so patiently, offering her hand to shake.  


“Yes, no! I know, uh…” he needs to save this, “I mean you’re in jazz band, I love jazz. I mean not all jazz but definitely jazz band jazz, that’s so weird I’m sorry.”  


“You apologize a lot.”  


“I’m sorry- no I mean- you know what I mean.”  


“Okay well I’ll talk to you later.”  


“Would you maybewannagooutsometime,” he lets out all in one breath before he can stop himself.  


“What?”  


“Nothing! I didn’t say anything, I mean-“  


“Did you just ask me out?”  


“No! I mean yes that’s what I said but I mean that’s ridiculous it’s not like you actually need to answer-“  


“Okay, sure.”  


Evan doesn’t respond for a second, only staring at her blankly. “Sure as in… you mean…”  


“Let’s go out,” she says like it’s the simplest thing in the world, “I have jazz band tonight but how about tomorrow?”  


Evan still needs a moment to process, before jumbling out “yes! I mean,” he awkwardly coughs and lowers his tone in a failed attempt to sound casual, “yeah tomorrow sounds good that should, uh, that should work for me”.  


Zoe giggles in that way that Evan almost has memorized, before asking for his phone to put her number in. She also signs his cast without him even having to ask, even putting a little heart next to it, and Evan’s officially floating on cloud nine. This is the first time he actually would be able to write one of those dumb letters Dr. Sherman always asks him to write, but he thinks he might even be forgiven for skipping this one with all that’s happening.  


The first text Zoe sends him is during English, which just says ‘See you at lunch? :)”. It’s the first time Evan can remember having an option for a lunch with people besides just Jared, and he’s grateful to not have to consider sitting with the other man after this morning.

…….

What Evan failed to consider is that Zoe’s one of those people who actually has friends. Multiple of them. Meaning lunch with her is actually lunch at a full table, where he has to converse with multiple people. He can’t imagine this going well. But then Zoe turns to see him walking up to them and smiles the way she does when she’s at one of her concerts and sees a face she recognizes in the crowd. And he decides if he can talk to her, he can try this. With a breath of confidence, he takes the empty seat beside her, ignoring the shocked look Jared sends his way.  


Lunch starts with a lot of stuttering (on his end, obviously) as the group tries kindly to coax him into their conversation while also trying to figure out what he’s doing there. Zoe, thoughtful as she is, gently interlocks their hands in what must be an attempt both to calm him and demonstrate exactly why he’s there. The group catches on quickly, and at some point Evan can manage a full sentence about how hard the first pre-calc lesson was with only minimal amounts of stutters.  


The confidence is short-lived though, as someone else approaches the table. Connor has anger in his eyes as he looks at Zoe, mirroring the look he gave Evan before the shove.  


“Are you driving me back after school today? You know Larry took my car,” Connor phrases it as a question, but his tone makes it clear that this is a demand.  


“I can’t, I’ve got jazz band practice,” she answers, not quite matching his anger.  


“Bullshit. On the first day?”  


“It’s junior members only, to get ready for the back to school concert.”  


At this point she starts to raise her voice. Evan feels the tension in the air and realizes this might not be the time to rub in the fact that the guy Connor called a freak this morning is now in a relationship with his sister. He tries to ever so casually maneuver his hand out of Zoe’s, but she seems to sense this and grip his hand even tighter, bringing it more obviously into Connor’s view.  


Connor doesn’t comment on it but is clearly affected by the way his breath deepens in that clearly angry way.  


“I was going to apologize for shoving you earlier,” he says while looking at Evan, before turning back towards his sister, “but I’m guessing she already took care of that, huh?”  


“I always have to take care of your mess,” she says before Evan can answer. He can tell the others at the table are feeling just as awkward as him, and he really wishes he could wipe the sweat off his hand right now but Zoe’s clamps tighter as her anger increases. He wants more than anything to calm the situation down in any way he can.  


“I can give you a ride home!” He offers. The siblings both look at him in a mixture of confusion and shock, “I mean I don’t drive so I can’t but my mom has a car and she’s actually driving me for once. Uh… I mean I know that’s really lame but I mean there’s room it’s just us two and… yeah”.  


“You don’t have to do that,” Zoe tells him. That might be the one thing Connor doesn’t argue.  


“It’s no problem!” He almost shouts, and he really should have taken the out he was offered but he’s in too deep now. Surely Connor’s just going to mention how he’s a freak for still needing his mom to drive him home and not having a license or money for a car and maybe even shove him again and oh gods why did he do this-  


“I mean, beats riding with Larry. Thanks Hansen”. Connor nods at him in gratitude, and the table all looks at him in an obvious question of ‘what did you just do?’ Evan isn’t sure he knows the answer to that himself, but he’s saved from further questioning by the bell ending lunch. Aside from the shock, his new lunchmates all offer him a genuine good luck as well as a promise to see him at lunch the next day. Zoe walks with him to the hallway before letting his hand go.  


“I can’t believe you did that,” she says with a tone between amusement and shock.  


Evan nervously chuckles before answering, “it’ll be fine.” He says it more confidently than he feels.  


“He literally shoved you this morning.”  


“He apologized! Kind of.”  


Zoe actually smiles at that. She drops the issue there as she heads into her next class. Evan lets out a sigh of relief and sends an important text.  


‘Hey mom, can you do me a huge favor?’

…..

The rest of the day passes by uneventfully, filled only with the building anticipation of the upcoming ride home. Evan’s urge to give up on this whole thing and cancel is overshadowed only by the anxiety of what both Connor and Zoe’s reactions would be. Eventually the last bell rings, and he doesn’t have a choice anymore. He almost holds his breath as he steps outside to meet his fate. Luckily, he’s met by Zoe first.  


“Hey!” She greets.  


“Hi.”  


“Connor’s coming. He has gym last so it takes him a while to come out. He’s a dick but not enough of one to ditch you when he needs a ride home.”  


Evan sucks in a breath. There goes his last bit of hope to get out of this whole thing. “Yeah, sounds good.”  


Zoe looks like she’s contemplating something, then gives him a slight peck on the cheek. Evan resists the urge to hold it in shock. “Thanks for this,” she says, “I’ll text you later, yeah?”  


“Yeah, I’d like that.”  


She smiles, then Connor appears between the two. Zoe almost scowls at him, before running off. Turning to wave bye at Evan. Evan waves back before turning to nervously try to smile at Connor.  


“Hey- uh, hi,” Evan greets.  


Connor mildly chuckles at the stutter, “hey”.  


Evan shifts from one foot to the other, trying to figure out any way to make this less awkward, “my mom should be here soon it’s just a bit of a drive from her work.”  


“Sounds good,” Connor doesn’t actually seem to care. Evan expects him to stand in annoyed silence, but he offers his own conversation starter, “so, how’d you break your arm?”  


“This? Oh I, uh, I fell from a tree.”  
Connor actually scoffs at this. “Well that’s the saddest fucking thing I ever heard.”  


Evan uncomfortably chuckles at that. It beats being called an acorn. Sort of. “Heh, yeah, I guess.”  


There’s a bit of tension, and Connor realizes this might be the second time he’s insulted Evan today. 

“Listen,” he starts, “I… I really am sorry for shoving you this morning. And for calling you a freak. I know you weren’t the one insulting me, and I have no room to talk anyway.”  


“No, no it’s- really it’s fine! You were right, I mean not that I was laughing! I promise I wasn’t laughing at you, I just- I am. You know, that. But it's good. We’re good I mean. Yeah.”  


Connor pauses for a moment, “Do you, uh, mind if I sign your cast?”  


It takes Evan a second to register, before he excitedly pulls out his sharpie from his bag. Connor seems almost equally excited to sign it, and his signature is noticeably larger than Zoe’s. Evan doesn’t take the time to question it before his mom drives up. She beams as she notices her son _talking to someone_ and even getting his cast signed.  


“Evan! Is this your friend?”  


Evan looks like a deer caught in the headlights, trying to subtly glance between his mom and Connor to figure out how to answer.  


Connor saves him by gracefully stepping in, shaking Heidi’s hand through the open window, “Hi Ms. Hansen. I’m Connor. Thank you for offering me a ride.”  


“Oh it’s no problem! Call me Heidi.”  


The two boys get in the car and Connor continues to make polite conversation with Evan’s mom as they drive him home. Evan has to fight himself looking almost gobsmacked the whole ride. He’s never seen Connor actually be polite to someone. And he’s even almost smiling the entire ride. Evan had never imagined that Connor’s range of emotions went past the range of neutral to explosive.  


He counts his blessings that he doesn’t have to find words as they pull up to Connor’s house. Heidi struggles to hide her shock at how big it is, while Evan makes no attempt to hide his own. Connor thanks Heidi one more time for the ride, and honest to God smiles at Evan before saying, “see you tomorrow.”  


“Well he was nice!” And Evan never thought he’d hear someone actually say those words about Connor Murphy, but somehow he finds himself genuinely agreeing.  


When he gets home, he doesn’t offer his mom too many details about his day. For some reason, he’s hesitant to let her get excited about everything that happened. But he does find himself frequently checking his phone. Jared spams him with messages ranging from ‘holy shit dude you actually sat with Zoe Murphy??’ To ‘and why tf were you talking to CONNOR of all people?!?’. He leaves those on read, waiting for his promised message from Zoe. He checks repeatedly through the night, and considers texting first but stops himself thinking that might seem desperate and Zoe would message soon enough. 

She never did.


	2. Chapter 2

Evan wakes up afraid. Which isn’t _uncommon_ per se, but never a good thing. It’s one of those days where he starts off feeling like everything will go wrong and his world is about to collapse around him. He hates it, it doesn’t make sense for him to feel this way. For once his life is honest to G-d _good_. He has a girlfriend, people to talk to besides Jared, and even held a conversation with the one man who might have actually hated him yesterday. By all accounts, life’s amazing. 

But maybe that’s the problem. He’s never had something to lose before. You don’t realize how that can be comforting until it changes. And maybe that’s why he already has a pit in his stomach and the urge to stay in bed to avoid facing the day. The idea is tempting. He used up all his bravery yesterday, he probably just needs to recharge before facing the world again today. 

”Evan! You’re going to be late for school,” his mom yells from downstairs. He desperately wants to ignore her and turn back to the comfort of his pillows, but then she’ll start asking why he’s not getting up and if he forgot to take his meds or if there’s some other reason he doesn’t want to go to school and- frankly all of that sounds just as stressful. School it is. 

Of course the first thing he does when he walks into the building is search for Zoe. He’s afraid to seem clingy, but surely if he finds her she’ll casually reassure him that _of course_ she didn’t forget to text him last night she just got caught up with jazz band or chores or the meaning of life, and they can just as quickly move on to being happy and stress free because _everything is fine_. Yet the 5 minute warning bell sounds and still Evan finds no sight of her.

But of course he _does_ find Jared. Or rather, Jared finds him. And Evan braces himself, prepared to be hit with a barrage of questions. But Jared only offers one, “what the hell man?” And, to be fair, that sums up the situation pretty nicely. On the surface, it’s also reasonable. Evan’s world had shifted more in one day than it had in 17 years, any normal friend would take notice and expect to be filled in. 

But here’s the thing about Jared. He’s the closest thing Evan’s had to a friend his whole life and the only person who can witness his anxious spiraling without question and without trying fruitlessly to try to fix them. He’s also the only person Evan’s ever consistently been able to talk to without feeling constantly terrified. Including his own mother. Really, Jared’s the only person who’d ever been able to make him feel something close to _normal_. 

He’s also an asshole. 

“Cuddling up to both the Murphy’s in one day, are you trying for some creepy threesome?”

And Evan scrambles to physically cover the other man’s mouth because _what the fuck Jared_ , “What? Seriously why would you say that?” He almost yells, face turning red. He contemplates running away as fast as possible, but he doesn’t actually think he’s going to find Zoe at this point, he hates being too early to class because he’s worried he’ll look weird being the first one in an empty classroom, and most of all, Jared will never leave him alone about this until he starts giving some information. “I asked Zoe out yesterday,” he offers. 

And you’d think Evan just told the best joke in the world because Jared bursts out laughing at it. “Pffft oh my God no you didn’t. Seriously dude what really happened?” 

Evan just stares blankly in response. 

“You didn’t,” he says again, more hesitantly this time, “I didn’t hear anything about her slapping you or telling the whole school that you’re crazy.” 

Evan just rolls his eyes, “I’ve got to get to class.” And he’s saved from more pestering from Jared only because that’s true. There’s still no sign of Zoe as he makes his way to his homeroom. She must have gotten sick last night. While he feels bad that she’s not feeling well, he finds comfort in the explanation for the lack of a text yesterday. Like a good boyfriend, he decides to send her a get well message. 

_I hope you feel better :(_

… 

He sees Connor at lunch. He’s noticeably angry, more than his usual resting grimace. Intimidated, he looks towards Zoe’s table instead. Her friends were really nice yesterday, but he doesn’t even want to think about how awkward it would be to try and sit with that group of near-strangers without Zoe there as a buffer. And he obviously doesn’t want to sit with Jared today. The bitter comfort of hiding out in the library or bathroom like he’s done so many times before is tempting. It seems like the obvious choice. But he catches Connor quickly glancing at him before turning away nonchalantly. Then he glances at the bold signature on his cast. He considers for another moment, then takes a breath, walking towards the other man. 

Connor’s glance at him as he arrives looks dangerously close to a scowl, and Evan immediately wants to turn around and hideaway like he should have done in the first place but that’s super rude and Connor would definitely still yell at him and oh G-d he’s made a huge mistake hasn’t he what is he going to do- 

”What do you want?” Connor’s not exactly seething, which is a good sign. But he’s definitely on the defensive. 

”Nothing! I just- I was looking for somewhere to sit and you weren’t sitting with anyone- not that you should be! I, uh… maybe you wanted to sit alone but I thought maybe if you didn’t and I didn’t then I could… um… sit here too. It was a bad idea obviously you want to be alone I’ll just… um…” 

“Evan,” Connor, blessedly, interrupts, “shut up.”

”Right, sorry,” he has to practically snap his mouth shut to keep himself from explaining more. Instead, he shifts between his feet and glances around, trying to figure out if that’s his cue to leave. 

”Well, are you gonna sit or what?” And Evan almost knocks another chair over trying to sit as quickly as possible. Connor makes no comment, and instead places an earbud in his ear while staring at his phone. Weirdly, he doesn’t touch it as though he’s actually using it, only stares at what Evan can only assume to be a blank screen. 

Evan hesitates, but decides it might be less awkward to at least try to start a conversation than to eat his sandwich in silence, “did you, uh, do anything yesterday? Like… when you got home?” 

Connor looks at him like he just said the most insane sentence he’s ever heard. To be fair, it could very well be the most awkward. “No.” 

”Oh.” And this is probably where Evan should stop trying, maybe make some excuse about needing to grab something from his locker before hiding away for the rest of lunch, back to the safety and comfort of being alone and not trying to interact with people and all their judgements. But Evan’s never been good at making the right decision. Instead he tries again, “so, uh, how’s Zoe?” 

” _Oh, so you’re just here to taunt me about my sister, is that it?!_ ”He stands up, clearly ready to explode, and his posture eerily resembles yesterday morning before he shoved Evan, but his tone carries a more intense rage and his hands are balled into tight fists that leave his knuckles white. A good portion of the cafeteria is looking onto the scene, clearly expecting some kind of fight or attack. 

”What? No!” Evan puts his hands in front of him defensively, “I just thought she was sick and maybe that’s why you were upset or something I don’t know it was stupid I’m sorry I just-“ Evan breathes heavily, trying to calm his voice to not add to the scene. 

Connor’s stance becomes the slightest bit less stiff, just enough for a good amount of the onlookers to turn back to their food in disappointment. “You thought she was… sick,” he repeats skeptically. 

Evan feels as though he’s expected to deny it, but he’s not sure why that would be. “Yeah…?” he answers, unsure of himself, “she wasn’t at school today? And you looked annoyed so I don’t know I thought maybe she was bothering you or you were worried or something? It was stupid I just thought it could be something to talk about and it was a bad idea, sorry.” 

Connor’s silent for a long moment, and Evan doesn’t know what to do so he cautiously goes back to eating his lunch, assuming the matter’s over. Connor glances at him for a moment, then looks down. He looks like he’s considering saying something, maybe apologizing to Evan again for yelling? Or that he wants him to leave and never try to talk to him again? 

He could have never prepared for what Connor actually said though:

”Zoe’s dead”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry chapter 2 took so long. I genuinely was suddenly super busy but to be honest this chapter and the next one were probably always going to take way too long to write. I do have a solid amount of the story written for later chapters, it’s just these chapters of set up that are hard to get through. Once the story gets more situated the writing will probably be on a much better schedule and probably better quality. If I can get chapter 3 done by the end of August we can have a nice schedule working, but it’ll either be soon or take extra long since I’m moving back to college next month. I’ll try for soon though.


	3. Chapter 3

“Zoe’s… did you just say? Are you… I mean… What?”

Connor’s expression remains concerningly neutral, and Evan’s breathing starts to get more and more labored. Is this some sick joke? Is he still trying to get back at Evan for dating his sister? They were cool yesterday, weren’t they?

Connor’s face shifts as Evan’s heavy breaths start bordering on hyperventilating. He hesitantly shifts closer to Evan’s side of the table, clearly unsure of what to do as he starts doing half motions with his arms, “whoa, whoa, why are you the one freaking out here?”  
And that pushes the tears to Evan’s eyes and the pit to his stomach because what? He’s the one getting made fun of here isn’t he? But him freaking out is probably making Connor madder at him and that’s making everything worse and-

“She was my sister, dude.”

He says it so calmly and Evan barely registers it, but the more he talks the more serious he sounds. But that doesn’t make sense because that would mean Connor was telling the truth and that Zoe’s actually dead.  
Evan’s now at the point where he can barely register coherent thoughts, and he can barely hear Connor ask him if he can touch him above the sounds of his hyperventilations and sobs, but he doesn’t fight the hand lightly grasping his shoulder. He doesn’t process himself getting up and walking along with Connor to the nurse’s office, and he doesn’t notice when Connor leaves.

.....  


Evan’s surprised when he sees Jared walk in. The day must be over, he didn’t feel the passage of time but he vaguely remembers shaking his head when the nurse asked if she should call his mom to come get him. The tears were gone and his breathing was manageable now, though he still felt like he might throw up at any moment.

“Rise and shine acorn! I’m taking you home.”  
Evan just looks at the other boy sceptically, then shakes his head, “no thanks, I can walk”.

With that, he starts to leave to do just that, stumbling slightly as he goes.

“Dude, what the hell?” Jared follows him and grasps his shoulder, stopping Evan in his path, “you’re not walking home like this.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell your mom you helped me. You don’t have to worry about your insurance.”

“What are you talking about?”

Jared genuinely looks confused, but Evan really doesn’t want to have an entire confrontation right now. He just wants to go home and go to sleep so he can put off facing existence until tomorrow where hopefully everything will miraculously fix itself. “I just… I know you’re probably gonna ask me a whole bunch of questions and I don’t feel like answering them right now”.

“Well yeah I have questions. You ditch me at lunch to sit with wannabe Columbine and next thing I know he’s sending you to the nurse’s office!”

“Jared!” He shouts, slapping his arm, “You- quit saying that stuff!”

“Why are you still defending him?”

“I’m not defending him, it's just- you’re being a jerk.”

Jared opens his mouth as though to argue back, but he seems to notice Evan’s breathing getting heavier, and mercifully seems to decide to drop it. “Look, you don’t have to tell me what happened if you don’t want to, but I’m taking you home alright?”

Hesitantly, Evan agrees. The car ride is stiff. Jared keeps glancing at him, clearly hoping Evan might change his mind and spill what happened but also making an effort not to push him. Evan’s not used to the respect.

He lasts until they get to his neighborhood before he caves, “He said that Zoe’s dead”.

The car jolts as Jared slams the breaks. He hardly seems to remember to put it in park before turning to Evan, “Connor said that?!”

“I-uh… yeah.”

“That’s- wow that’s fucked. Even for him.”

“You- do you think he was lying?”

Jared looks at him, confused, “I mean, he’s gotta be fucking with you. That would have to be all over school by now, and why would he be there if his sister just died?”

“I… yeah. I guess you’re right,” Evan slouches uncomfortably in his seat.

“You believed him?” Jared, for once, doesn’t have a judgemental tone.

“No. I mean, maybe? He just… sounded serious? I don’t know,” Evan puts his face in his hands, sighing, “Zoe never texted either.”

Jared doesn’t immediately respond, instead resting his hands on the steering wheel as he sat back in his own seat, contemplating, “Do you think Zoe actually likes you?”

And Evan isn’t even going to let himself entertain this turn of conversation. “Nope, not doing this,” he says as he starts to unbuckle and open the car door, “I’m out.”

“Dude!” Jared turns to grab his shoulder, confused and exasperated, “what’s with you lately? I’m just trying to figure out what might be going on.”

“No, you’re trying to be an asshole!”

“Whoa, pulling out the big boy words are we?” Evan rolls his eyes and makes another move to leave, “hey, hey! Would you chill out? My point is, if Zoe likes you _and I’m not saying she doesn’t_ , then it’s weird that she wouldn’t talk to you and her freaky brother says she’s dead when she didn’t show up.”

“Weird like… you think it might be true?”

“Weird like I’d definitely worried if she doesn’t show up tomorrow.”

The two sit in silence under the weight of the unknown.

….  


Evan is rarely so grateful to return to an empty house. His phone begins to lie heavier in his pocket as he climbs the stairs and is confronted by the fact that that’s where his answers are probably going to be. As he reaches his bed, he weighs the fear of a phone call with the fear of _not knowing_. Before letting himself have a second-third-and eighth thought he quickly finds Zoe’s contact and hits call.

With each ring he reminds himself he still has time to hang up and pretend he never tried this, and by the third he’s moving to hang up but just in time he’s interrupted by a woman’s voice-

“H-hello?” The voice is shaky, and Evan panics because _that’s not Zoe_ and she starts again, “is this… are you one of Zoe’s friends?”

“I- um- yeah-yes! Sorry I just wanted to, um… is she there?”

Instead of an answer, he hears the woman’s shaky breath on the other side of the line. People terrify him in general, but there’s something so ominous about a woman hiding a sob.

“I’m sorry I-“ she nearly gasps, “Did no one tell you?”

And the most logical part of Evan’s brain is telling him how obvious it is what she’s talking about so he’s not sure why he still responds, “tell me- tell me what?”

“Zoe, last night after school she-“ this time the woman doesn’t stop the sob escaping, “she tried to send a text on the way home and then…” she doesn’t finish the statement but Evan doesn’t think he could bear to hear the words again anyway. The crying is in full swing on the woman’s end and he’s not too far himself.

He’s not sure if she’s even holding the phone anymore but in a panic he rasps out “I’m so sorry” before quickly hanging up and dropping the phone, as he also lets himself lean on and slide down the nearest wall.

…  


“Did you call my mom yesterday?” Connor finds him in school that next morning, going straight to the offensive.

“Wh-what?”

“My mom. She started sobbing yesterday then asked who ‘Evan’ is, now she wants you to come over for dinner.”

“What-bu-why would she want that?”

“She wants to meet the ‘secret boyfriend’, obviously.”

“I-I never said that!”

“I know, I did,” he leans against the locker beside them, pulling out his phone, “I’d ask if you’re coming but rejection sounds really off-brand for you. You remember the address?”

Evan freezes for a minute, knowing Connor’s right. Hesitantly, he tries, “I… don’t have a ride.”

Connor nods, “alright so I’ll drive,” he hands Evan his phone and Evan just barely notices the shaking of the other boy’s hand, “put in your number, I’ll text you after school.”

After Evan types it in, Connor immediately moves to leave. “Hey, Connor?”

“What?”

Evan flinches at the slightly harsh tone, but asks anyway, “why did you come to school yesterday?”

Connor contemplates for a moment, before neutrally answering “You’ll get it after tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this fic isn’t abandoned by the way, woo!  
> I wasn’t too happy with chapter 2 and I’m still not a fan of it but I think it’s just a less eventful part and harder to write because of that. I had the same issue with this one but a bit less so, next chapter we actually get into some solid Evan/Connor interactions and I think it’ll be overall more interesting to both write and read. Chapter 4 should have the start of some actual solid tree bros content. 
> 
> Btw constructive criticism would be great! Any comments keep me going but like I said these probably aren’t my best two chapters so I’d love to hear what I could do better. Thank you!!

**Author's Note:**

> So despite everything I’ve written so far I’m actually unsure about a lot of things going on here. I’m figuring a lot of things out as I go but any comments/suggestions are appreciated. For example *spoiler (but you read the tags so not really)* I’m pretty set on the idea that Connor’s low key pining for Evan already, but I’m not sure if Zoe was rubbing the relationship in his face because she knows that (definitely the more cruel option for her character) or just because she assumes, like Evan, that he’s going to be uncomfortable seeing her in any relationship because big brother reasons and because as far as she knows he hasn’t dated anyone. Side note, she hasn’t either imo both because she hasn’t ever been directly asked and because she never tried since she wouldn’t want to deal with bringing someone to her chaotic household.


End file.
